Proving that a popular franchise does not equal a good film, The Green Hornet is a clumsy and inept attempt at a super hero movie.
The film opened on January 14th to mixed reviews. It is based off of the television series from the 1960s.
The movie focuses on Britt Reid (Seth Rogan), a spoiled rich kid who finds himself in charge of a newspaper after his father's mysterious death. He quickly bonds with his late father's mechanic and personal coffee maker, Kato (Jay Chou). The two decide to start fighting crime (or committing crimes, there is no clarity here) with no real impetus. Then a downward spiral into moronic chaos ensues.
First off: this film was originally slated for release April of last year but was postponed in order to convert it to 3D. If it wasn't for the fact that the screen was so blurry, movie goers could potentially watch the entire film without wearing the glasses.
There is absolutely no evidence of this film being converted into 3D at any particular point; a bullet shell flew at me once and that was about it.
Adding on to the level of unsatisfactory visuals, the action in this film was pretty lame.
Action heroes are supposed to spend a lot of time fighting. Instead the viewer was subjected to Michael Bay style explosions as a substitute.
The fighting scenes that were present were woefully boring. Considering Bruce Lee originally played Kato in the television series, the film had the opportunity to make a cool retro nod to the great martial artist by implementing some awesome kung fu moves.
Instead, the fight scenes were weak displays of CGI manipulation. Using technology in a fight scene wouldn't be so bad if the fights were well choreographed and exciting.
The Green Hornetdidn't even have that going for it.
The action wasn't the only thing that was a mess. The characters were absolutely unlikable, bumbling morons.
The movie's villain is quite possibly the worst I have ever seen. It is a refreshing concept to have a cool, laid back bad guy, but it was so poorly executed to the point where it became painful.
Villains in the throes of a midlife crisis are not dangerous, exciting, or awesome.
Rogan and Chou spend most of the movie acting like burned out frat boys, mumbling irreverent references about things nobody cares about.
The dialogue is the weakest point of this movie as I truly believe that it was all improvised. I would even go as far to say that there were not any writers or even a script for this film.
The conversations are rambling, unfunny non sequiturs that makes the viewer wonder if they really need to be there to hear it. On the plus side – you know you're not missing anything when you hit the bathroom.
The film as a whole was a nonsensical whirlwind of incoherent suck from beginning to end. The conclusion was so abrupt that I refused to leave until the credits were finished rolling because I couldn't believe it was over.
The undirected plot left a ton of loose ends, which would be okay if the film had built itself up to a sequel yet it refused to provide such a logical explanation. It could be said that the ending was one that appealed to the lowest common denominator – but that would be offensive to the lowest common denominator.
I would rather be attacked by a swarm of bees than ever see The Green Hornet again. It is an unfocused, twisted wreckage of celluloid that should never have been made.
Save yourself the money and avoid this film.
1 of 5 stars
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